Saturday, December 18, 2010

Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree!!!

Tis the season to be jolly, but it's so hard since Mike is gone. Things here in North Carolina are not the same. Yes, I said North Carolina. We did not stay in Missouri through the holiday season. I have to say I am so glad for the mere fact that I feel so much more comfortable in my own bed. We did not have a Christmas tree up when we left but within an hour of being home we had one put up and decorated. Last year I traded in my nine foot beauty for this seven foot slim line because of space constrictions. Little did I know I would have twelve foot ceilings again so soon. I would say I regret it but with Mike being deployed this one was so simple to put up and it's very pretty. I usually do a color theme change every year but this year brought something to my mind that I have never felt before. Nostalgia. I have decided our main tree will be full of fun ornaments that we love and our special to us. Then I have my Disney tree in the Disney/Scrapbook room. It is time though to expand that tree to a small slimline as well. I have so many ornaments on there it looks silly since it's an Alpine tree that is five feet. It looks tired :) I will take pictures of the trees and post them here tomorrow.

Brittany and I have festive plans for Christmas Day. We will be spending it with some friends at their house and we will have the traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. At first when my friend offered I felt like a protective hen and did not want to give up our normal dinner. But Nothing about this year is normal. We need to be with others and not waste an entire ham on just us. We would have tons of leftovers and to say that we would eat it all would be foolish. We are looking forward to Christmas Day with Heidi, her hubby and little boy, Lisa and Chris.

I have heard from Michael quite often. There have been a few weeks that went silent but he was on missions and could not communicate. He has been driving alot and was very tired on the last one. He drove sixty miles and it took them forty hours!!!! He was absolutely worn out to say the least. Please continue to pray for him and keep him in your thoughts.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Home for the Holidays....

Yes, we are going home for the holidays. Missouri is such a long ways from North Carolina but after talking it over with Michael we both decided that I would regret not going home for Thanksgiving and subsequently Christmas. Since our car is not in the bravest of shape, we are opting to have a family member come and pick us up and bring us home. Brittany and I are going to be home from mid November until after New Year's. My neice is get
ting married December 26th in Ochios Rios, Jamaica, and then coming back to Missouri to do a New Year's reception. We are very excited for this event and cannot wait to share in the joy of her marriage. Brent and Jessica have been dating since they were 14 and 15 years old so now that they are in their mid twenties and have their careers under their belt, they are ready for marriage.

I have been hearing from Mike regularly. Thank God. His unit finally got internet capability so that is a treat when I hear the phone ringing from the computer! Then it is even better when I see his bald noggin' shining up from out of the darkness. He usually sits outside the room in the dark of the night to talk to me so it is quiet. I don't care how, I just care that he can have that ability to reach out to us. We miss him so much everyday. This morning when the dogs heard his voice they did go CRAZY though, they were running back and forth to the door and could not figure out why he was not there if he was talking. They are so confused.

One of the challenges of being a deployed spouse has been learning how to cook for two people again. Brittany and I don't eat enough food to warrant a whole roast or a pot of chili but we are fixing things to make due. I thought I could skimp on the big meals and not decorating the house for Christmas but that didn't happen. I have an eighteen year old that was NOT happy with this turn of events. So, today, I am making a roast and I am making homemade mashed potatos and gravy and making Beef Manhattans. Last Friday, the decorations went up. It started with her just coming to my room with four prints that I usually put up in the living room. She begged and said just a few things. And then came the totes. So, I spent two days doing the house up the way she wanted. It is a lot of work and for someone that wanted it she sure did not help. But that is okay, it's all about her and what makes her feel good throughout this deployment. It is hard on all of us but seriously hard on a CHILD.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I can't exhale........

I am writing this negativity because really I have nowhere else to put it. All of the words are in my head and they have to come out somewhere so since this is my blog about this deployment I am placing them here. I feel like I am going to explode. The sadness surrounds me like the dew on a flower after a spring rain. I cannot stop weeping. The tears just come and come and never stop. Strong is not a word that I will admit to willingly right now because if I am busy and with people other than my daughter, I am fine. But if I am with her all I see is him. And for record, that girl is a grouch these days. I know it's the adjustment to him being gone and we are on each other's nerves greatly but dear Lord, my patience is tested by the minute for that red headed, green eyed beauty. I have never loved two people so much or thought that it be possible to do so. I feel bad for crying in front of her, I am sure it drives her nuts, but I can't hold it in. It seriously is like an involuntary movement such as breathing. Until you are in my position, don't judge. What people don't understand is this is my first deployment as a wife. I've been the soldier, he has been the sailor, but we have not been this military family for ten years. For ten years, I was selfish, he was all mine, I got to call him at any given time and dared anyone to get in my way of getting to him. He was and is my very best friend in the world and I tell everything and I mean EVERYTHING to him. Some of our friends asked me once a year or two ago "do you guys tell each other everything? Like everything?" Heck ya, I do. And I miss that. We talked to, for and about everything together. I never realized how much I depended on him until this time period. WTC was nothing. AIT was nothing. I saw him every weekend. I have NEVER been away from him for more than four weeks maximum and even then when he was at Ft. Wood he came home all of the time or I could go there and have dinner if I wanted to. It is being told or actually NOT being told that I can't talk to the man that is my world that hurts so much. I know it's his job. I am supportive of that because I know how strongly I felt and still feel for the country that we live in but gosh darn it, I did NOT expect this. When I've had the other two people in my life that I was close to and they were in Afghanistan, both of them, had internet access at ALL times. I talked to them both more while they were there than I ever did when they were home. It's a joke at Leatherneck, they have NO comforts of home. I know they are at war but because it's a Marine base I feel like our guys got it stuck to them. I should not feel that way, and I am sure that in a few days it will change again. This is the most terrifying emotional roller coaster I've ever been on but this war sucks. Period. End of Story.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Year Without My Love.....Begins Now.

We are home from our journey in the Carribean Ocean and I came home to an empty house. Michael is gone now for a year to Afghanistan. It is so hard to believe he is actually gone and I won't see him again until his R and R. For now, we are going to keep this blog about Mike and his adventures in the sand box and then our life here at Bragg without our Daddy and husband. It is very important to us that Brittany is remembered too and her loss for her Dad right now being so far away is an important factor to keep in mind. Right now she is choosing to hang out in bed listening to music and watching t.v and for this week I am letting her do just that. Every time I see her I see that man in her face, she is her Dad's spitting image and acts just like him. I thank God for that every day.

As far as Michael goes, he is at his final destination I believe. I will have more cement information as he tells me but I have not heard from him in two days as they have been traveling. I will get an address up here as soon as I can. He had internet connection before with the laptop but as far as I know, he does not any longer, which just plainly STINKS. I am praying that changes.

Here on the homefront, we have had some excitment. Nothing huge just some trials are happening that are determined to bring us down, but I refuse to let that happen. Our hot water heater went out today so now showers. However, Picerne Military Housing got us a new one in just an hour or so and they are here now installing it. You can't ask for better service than that! It are times like these when I am SO greatful that we live on base and not off post.

I will post again as soon as I hear from Mike, I just wanted to do another blog to let everyone know Michael is safe at his destination and to ask for constant prayers for him. Thanks so much.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Our Weekend Excursion

Michael was off on Friday with the rest of his unit for "family day" which we loved. I went to lunch with an old friend from high school that I have become reaquainted with in the past two years. Angie and her family are from the Fayetteville area thank goodness so I am able to visit with her when she is here to see her parents. Her spouse and herself actually live in Charlotte however she is here a lot! Yay for old friends! Ang and I went to Red Robin where I successfully had my first car blunder in North Carolina. I high centered the car over a driveway divider. I have never in my life seen a yellow divider in the parking lot of a restaurant saying which way you can go. Well, my Grand Prix and I now have. Won't be making that same mistake again! Scared the bejeezus out of me.

On Saturday, Brit, Mike and I took our two babies to Bed and Biscuit Kennel in Stedman, not far at all from our hotel home. We then headed southeast toward Myrtle Beach. The traffic was dreadful but two hours later, we entered the surf. It was amazing to have my toes in the water again. I am a beach girl and plan to be near water for the rest of my life in some form. My worst nightmare could be getting stationed again at Fort Leonardwood because I cannot reach the beach in a day from there :( I would be devastated to be away from the East Coast.

Our family went to Dick's Last Resort for dinner and it was amazing! If you do not have thick skin or small children DO NOT GO THERE. PERIOD. The F bomb is dropped constantly as are the words "homo" and several other graphic words. They are all about being rude to you. For example, I asked for a salad and our server called me an "Effin pain the a**". It really was hilarious and he had our sense of humor and because Mike has told me for ten years about Dick's in San Diego, I KNEW what I was getting myself into. My daughter on the other hand, was pissed. When they realized she was quiet, she set off alarms to be picked on and he did a great job. He threw seven rolls of silverware at her. Brought all the coleslaw out and threw it at her at once for her to distribute to everyone "it's not in his effin job description to pass out the side orders" or so he said. It was hilarious really because after she warmed up to him it was a hoot. Then they make hats for everyone (picture KKK hats) out of paper. They are like two feet tall and really the only way to describe them is the previous parentheses. Everyone gets a saying written on them. For example, mine read "Gravity SUCKS" with two huge boobs drawn on them. Anyone that has seen me knows there is a reason for that, I wear a 42 DDD. Mike's was made extra big and it went over his head but was too huge to fit on it. And it read "This is how my condoms fit on me".....I told you graphic but funny.

We then decided to stay on the Coast and explore Wilmington on Sunday. We stayed at a Best Western about ten min out of Wilmington that was only a couple of months old. It was a grand hotel. Loved our stay and we will be back again to that same hotel, wonderful amenties. Today, we woke up and just began to explore Carolina Beach and we fell in love with the beach itself. So much more relaxing than Myrtle Beach even though Myrtle was a blast. Myrtle was more party place with a big group : for us, we will stick to Wilmington and Carolina. When I have friends or family in we will do the loop that we did this weekend, start in Myrtle and stay at Wilmington also. They are both awesome places. That is it for now. Mike should be on Permissive TDY Leave for the next ten days. We will keep you posted on any new developments in our life.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Ft. Bragg...we are here and settled...for now

During the past week, my life has been too hectic to even think of blogging. I was lucky to keep up with facebook much have a minute alone to put thoughts into paragraphs. Right now, Brit is in the shower and the dogs are at my feet, so now seems like a good time to blog.

Our adventures in North Carolina started off horrible,I will not lie. I won't post every graphic detail here because honestly I am trying to be as positive as I feel our life is becoming so it stresses me out to relive it. I will tell you the first few minutes of Landmark Inn stressed me out enough to kennel my dogs only to go pick them up three days later. I believe God gives you intuition for a reason and when I wake up at 4:00 in the morning in a panic knowing I have to go get my dogs, something is wrong. And wrong it was. When we got to the animal hospital the girl that was the "kennel girl" looked relieved that we were there but almost panicked. She told us to wait there for a few minutes then she came and got Mike and said "Your dogs don't like us". Mmmm, I thought, that's weird, Country Bed and Biscuit loved our dogs and Sidney went right to her and loved on her before he left there in May. Once our dogs warm up to you after a few cuddle minutes, they are fine usually. I knew then something was going on. When they came out, they were so excited that Sid hyperventilated. I was crying tears of joy to see them. I know to some that may seem silly, but my dogs are my other children. Mike and I have raised each of them since they were puppies and they are brothers (literally). We are very attached to our boys. When the boys came out, Rusty was a little wet but I didn't get it until he started giving me kisses. He was COVERED in urine and Sid had feces on his backside. I was livid to say the least. I knew at this point the dirtbags at the kennel had not taken my boys out once from that humane society looking steel cage. I went to the car and told Brit to get a blanket on her lap and that it was bad and to just feel sorry for them and not be mean because they smelled beyond dead. I was so freaking mad at this point it took an act of Congress to get me to not scream at someone. I just wanted them out of there. I did go back in because I am going to make a formal complaint with the USDA or whomever I need to that controls kennel cleanliness in North Carolina. Until then, I will tell everyone on Fort Bragg not to take their animals to NorthGate Animal Hospital. And to say that I will NEVER use a vet as a kennel again is an understatement. They need to be in a warm, friendly, environment with Healthy animals not sick ones.

Anyhow, after going to get our dogs, we were asked if we wanted to switch rooms for my space. Landmark Inn was more than gracious to us for letting us do this and we appreicated the offer more than I can ever tell them. We now have a family suite equipped with a small kitchenette, dining table, double bed, a set of bunk beds (in which the botoom is serving as Mike's Army depot of stuff) and a nice bathroom. This is making our four week stay here much more enjoyable.

Now that we have the dogs back, we cannot go anywhere during the day without them, however I do think they would be okay if we left them a couple of times. The first few hours of them being back, Rusty would burst into hound dog howling if I even shut the door to the bathroom. He was truly traumatized. We have been spoiling them every chance we get as well to make them more comfortable that we aren't leaving them. Even our trip to Washington, D.C. is being planned around them because we know we have to stay at a pet friendly hotel in order to do it. The kennel we will use after this is probably the Fayetteville Pet Resort, she helped me immensley with everything and I really liked her on the phone (even though she was full).

Now, current day, I am going to get my coupons out and start sorting my q's today as I have a huge pile of them to go through and since the commisary takes q's up to six months old, I am in the money. Between that and just relaxing today since Mike is going to his unit for the first time, our day should be uneventful.

Tomorrow however, I am going to a book signing for the actual author of the book that my new book club is reading now. I am totally excited for that and hopefully I will get to meet some new friends.

Ta ta for now. Until we meet again.

Tammy

Monday, June 14, 2010

On our Way East.....

Yesterday, June 13, 2010, we began our journey east. Saying goodbye was terrible but not as bad as I envisioned because well honestly, I was being difficult. I would not allow myself to cry in front of my Mom and Dad so I refused to give hugs or tell themI love them. I know that sounds so bratty, but I am too emotional and I am too close to my Mom for that. I just couldn't do it. I wasn't sure if the concrete would hold my feet down more if I did that. I did not know if I would ever let go. I will miss her so much and my Dad but my Mom was my buddy in so many ways. I have become so dependant on her it will be interesting to see who gets me 7 UP when Im sick or who picks Brit up when I need them to. There is NO WAY I could have left my family when she was in school.

We quickly realized that we got settled in fairly well in the Penske truck that we rented, it was not nearly as crowded as we feared. We stopped and bought a small dog bed and Rusty loved it. He stayed in the floor on my feet with that bed most of the day. Occasionally he would look up at me and thump his tail then fall back into his riding stupor. Our stops that we did make were an ordeal though. The dogs wanted to go for constant walks and this was a fiasco. We had to hold one dog so they did not run off then let them out one at a time.

After traveling over 400 miles that first day, we did not make it to Nashville, our plans changed drastically. We found a hotel that accepted pets in Cadiz, Kentucky, about an hour outside of Nashville. We have decided to drive to Gatlinburg, Tennesee today for another five hours and then spend our last six hours on the road on Tuesday. Eleven hours on Tuesday to get to Fayetteville would have killed Mike. That truck is hard on a back and we were sick of being in it after eight hours too. We need these breaks, the Army paid us to take our time, and now we know why.

We were exhausted when we pulled in last night but the kind lady at the desk asked if she wanted us to keep the pool open longer so we could swim. We accepted and cooled off in the nice cool waters of the pool. Brit and I swam for about forty five minutes got out and came inside to do her homework. College homework doesn't stop for a move!

We will update again once we get to Gatlinburg, but until then, we will love each one of you as always!

Tammy

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Counting Down.......Headed East in Four Days

Today is Tuesday and with the stress of moving, I feel like calling it quits. DITY sucks. Don't do it. That's my advice. I am the most Type A person I know and I cannot take the stress of making sure that everything is perfectly wrapped for a perfect move to the perfect base to the perfect house. Oh yeah, perfect hotel room. We will be there for thirty days before we are able to settle ourselves into our humble Spanish style home on Bastogne Gables. I would do just about anything to get into the housing sooner however I am sure that is not to happen. Hotels on post are outrageous, which I think should totally be illegal for people PCS'ing. In my opinion, $35.00 a night is plenty for people PCSing not $89.00 or higher in some instances. The main housing on Bragg, Airborrne Inn, wants nearly $1800.00 for thirty days to house us. How is it that the military only gives us $1000.00 but they want an additional $800.00. It's BS is what it is. Soldiers do not want to live in glamorous housing, we just want a safe place to lay our head at night and in the ghetto on the main strip at Bragg is where I won't go. The sad thing is, it is cheaper for us to rent a condo an hour away at the beach with the daughter and I than it is to stay on Bragg. For now, at least the first two weeks, we have no choice, but afer that we are looking for something different. We will totally be low on money if we don't. Because the rooms don't feed you after all, they just provide totally intrusive ways of living among 2000 other people you have never smelled, met or talked to. Today, I am bitter about PCSing this way, tomorrow is a new day and perhaps I will be back to normal. I would happy if we would be totally packed and ready to rock and roll. Until then, I am a grouch. I am sorry in advance.

Tammy

Monday, May 31, 2010

Packing Up and Moving Out.....Along with Goodbyes

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind for us. We have had three major graduations, Brittany from high school, myself from Drury University and Michael from AIT (as prior service). Each one of them will be remembered forever but the stress that came from the month of May is leaving quickly and being replaced by an entirely different kind of stress.

We have taken care of our transportation needs, and we have chosen to do a DITY move, which means the Army is paying US to move ourselves. We are taking a moving truck,two dogs and a kid between us to North Carolina. It will be a challenge but we are up for it. We have been put on the housing list at Ft. Bragg. As of Friday, we were number 26 but we were assured that we will have a house within two months and probably much quicker. I am hoping they are right. Until then, we will be livin in temporary housing. We are not sure at this time if we are living on post for the two months in the hotel (VERY expensive) or off post at a housing apartment complex (I would rather not). We have to go where it is feasible for money and the dogs. I know it is silly to some but it is very important for us to keep our two dogs. We had three and we are having to leave Taz (aka Satan) with my Mom in order to live on post.

Today marks the day that we begin our packing trek. We have a busy and hectic final two weeks here so we have to really be organized. We are doing the move by color coded totes in order to separate them in storage and be easily accessible. My TYPE A personality is shining through on this one for sure! Since it's going to be in storage I want to make sure that no mice or bugs can get in the boxes. I believe the investment in the storage will be worth it.

This weekend, Memorial Weekend, it is easy to be excited to move because of all of the patriotism that surrounds us right now in this season. Red, white and blue abounds the houses around us and the people are hyped for summer. Being a part of a military family is something we have dreamed of for a long time and now that it is a reality, we cannot wait to be among those that have that in common with us.

However, with the excitement, comes the sadness that accompanies us as we leave our loved ones and friends that we have known for a lifetime behind to continue this journey that we have began. I just ask for your prayers and for your encouragement. I do not want anyone to be sad because it is for our best interest and if you love us, love all of our decisions that we spent alot of time making. We will miss our parents, but they will not be far away. It is hard leaving with my Dad so sick but I know that he wants me to get a good job too and I am leaving to live my dream as well. I want to make him proud and I intend to do just that!

Last night as we pulled away from my brother's house for one of the last times while we are here, my sister came out to say goodbye to us. Our embrace was long, there were no words, no I love you back from me. I am HORRIBLE at goodbyes and very emotional about them. My sisters and brothers are very important in my life and we are all very close. Not only having them in my life but having their children in my life has been such a privilige to me and not one that I take lightly. I have friends that have no spoken to their siblings in years and I cannot imagine my life without these people I consider my best friends. I think I have decided because of my emotions to be on the road before I tell anyone I am gone. I cannot deal with the great emotion of that day.

I will begin posting more often and hopefully get this blog up and going more consistently on Fort Bragg. I plan to do coupon classes if I have my way for free to the soldiers' wives on post. I plan to scrapbook my face off! I plan to get healthy and fit and I plan to get the dream job I have worked so hard to achieve. Until the next post, be well and pray for our family in this journey we are embarking on.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

We're Moving on Up.......Moving on Up......to the East Side...

Michael is in week 4 of AIT and has received his PCS orders as of Monday. We will be heading east folks! We are going to Ft. Bragg, North Carolina. There is so much to consider when traveling this far and my mind is scrambling right now but I cannot complain. We had a huge scare the week before because we thought his orders were to Korea and we were devastated! It wasn't that it was scary to go but right now with my Dad's health and Brit's new life on her own, it is scary to think that perhaps we could not get to them easily. Fort Bragg is a good sixteen hour drive from where we currently are at in Missouri, but I asked and prayed for East Coast and I got it. I fell in love with the east coast when I was in basic training, South Carolina to be exact. Then I went on to Virginia. I loved it so much, the smell of pine, the people, the houses, the rich history. As a history teacher, the southeast is the best place to be! I cannot wait to spend countless weekends traveling to different places around the country and keeping scrapbooks on each of them. I can't wait to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and stand in awe in front of the Lincoln Memorial yet again. I want to smell the Cherry Blossoms bloom in front of the White House and see New York City. There are many things on my bucket list but most of them have to do with traveling to different places on the east coast.

I am ready for our new beginning even as nervous as I am. I cannot wait to do this and be by his side once again. Even if he leaves to go off to war, I still have family close by. I have an aunt and cousins that live just a few hours a way, close enough for a weekend jaunt and I have a couple of friends that I have known for a long time that are there. One of them, I graduated with and I am so excited to be close to her! Her parents will actually live about fifteen minutes from me.

Michael has increased his PT scores and gets more determined every day to run more. He is so in shape and Im not. I will be but I am not. Now, we will have a free fitness center at our disposal so that should be much better for us. We have alot to learn soon about North Carolina so if you have info. for us feel free to pass it along.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

ADDRESS TIME!!! WAHOO!!!

Michael called and has given me his new address for the duration of his stay at Ft. Sill. Please, please send him a line and just let him know we are thinking of him and pulling for him. Also, NO packages, meaning care packages at all. He has a debit card with him so if he needs something he is able to get it (i.e. personal care items). He stated that it would not be a good thing if he got a box :)

He is doing well and is able to call every day sometimes multiple times a day which is helping tremendously with me being so sad and him being homesick. The technology today is so different than when he and I were in the first time. It definently helps to keep your loved ones connected with each other. He is able to text in the evenings alot so you can shoot him a text if you want and he even Instant messages with his phone.

He is having alot of problems with his sinuses and allergies there in the dust bowl. It is kicking his butt so right now he sounds like I did last week, very husky. :)

He begins his medical combat training this week however he was relieved to find out that they have done away with grenades and the gas chamber in this training. Those are two less things to scratch off our list.

Mike had his first PT test yesterday just a dianostic one, not a record one. He did okay but there is room for improvement he said. He wants to cut down the time in his run by a minute or so and he will be happy with that. I guess alot of guys there did not pass though and one or two were even over by several minutes on the run so I would hate to be them in the coming weeks. I remember that feeling of watching the failure team run past while we were getting to write letters home and have free time. Thank God that will not be Mike and he will still get to call and write :)

Here is his address:

PFC Michael L. Hodges
E Battery/4th Platoon
5960Rothwell Street
Ft. Sill, Oklahoma 73503

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

One week and some change in....

We have gotten to talk to Mike a few times by phone by mainly by Yahoo Instant Messenger. He is doing well so far. He has completed inprocessing and his last day at reception is today. Tomorrow he begins actual training. It will be very hard and different for him. Apparently some of the NCOs went over today to meet with the Drill Instructors and they came back with the news that they are in for a different world starting tomorrow. I don't know why they started things out so lax with the guys for the past week though, I definently don't agree with it but who I am to say that! I just know that feeding grown men cheeseburgers, pizza and fries for a solid week with no PT is a dumb idea. Mike said they are very overwhelmed with new recruits and they are not focusing as much on the WTC recruits at reception, they are the least of their concerns they have "been there done that " so to speak.

As of tomorrow, it will be at least a week before I will hear from Mike again. I have a picture of Mike in his uniform and I am trying to get the picture uploaded on here but I may have to wait. Michael has made a buddy in there and for whatever reason he likes ot whistle constantly the theme to the Circus....it's kind of hilarious if you think about it. Only Mike can make friends with someone that saracastic :)

As of right now Michael does not have a permanent address but as soon as he gets one we will pass it along here. Until then. Start praying and don't stop until graduation date.


Love and camoflauge.

Tammy

Thursday, February 18, 2010

My new life as a military wife THE FIRST DAYS

Monday, February 15, 2010, changed my life forever. I kissed my husband goodbye and I am not sure when I will see him again. I became an Army wife. I knew this life all too well but never as a married adult. You see, I was a soldier. I was a proud American soldier fifteen years ago but I never knew what it would be like to share that adventure with someone you love, much less have a child with. It is a different ballgame that is for sure. On Tuesday, I had a good day because I still had pretty consistent contact with him up until he got on the bus for Ft. Sill to go to Warrior Transition Course training. He was in the Navy before so he has to get acclimated to the Army way of life. Hoo-Ah! I did not hear from him again until the next day. On Wednesday when I got a text from him he said he was exhausted, he had gotten only thirty minutes of sleep. When he got to reception his group was asked to help in process all of the new basic training recruits and Mike said there were hundreds. They inprocessed these boys and girls until three in the morning. He then laid down only to not be able to fall asleep immediately because of all of the adrenaline. Then at four o'clock sharp, they had to be up and running again. Mike loves to sleep I don't know how he did this! When I read that text I have to tell you my feet started hurting for him because I know what this is like and remember being up for forty eight hours straight once on duty and I remember the pain from it. Today, on Thursday, I did not hear from him until late into the evening, almost my bed time. He texted my daughter so I knew it was important because he couldn't get in touch with me. I immediately ran to the my piece of crap phone that won't ring and waited for an incoming text. He said he was sorry that he cannot talk to me tonight, he had five minutes to text and that was it after that it was lights out and that he is not allowed to actually "talk" to me until he earns a pass. That is okay, I was disappointed at first but AT LEAST he's able to have his phone on his person at all times. That is such a luxury compared to when I was in.

I miss hearing his voice so much that it hurts. Tonight, Brit went out with Jordan and I could not bear to stay home alone so I left and went to eat alone and window shopping. Being alone is a different ballgame. It's not that I can't be alone because after all he did work second shift but honestly it is the sound of his voice that I miss, the nervous lip twitch he does, his big toothy grin, the smell of his hair, the daily watching of "Let's Make a Deal". It's totally the little things that I miss the most. I realized today more than ever before that I am still so in love with this man. He is my best friend, my hero, and my favorite shopping buddy. I am so blessed in that area because for the most part the loves to shop, especially for shoes. He could buy a new pair of Nike's every day if I would let him or we could afford it.

This is a new adventure for us but one that I am so greatful for and ready to ride the waves with. I am ready to begin our new life and start over. We have had such a rough ten years with so many more downs than ups and I know we can survive through training periods or deployments, no problem! I have to be positive and strong for him and our daughter who depends on seeing one parent together these days. Speaking of which, she misses her Daddy and asks every few minutes when she gets home from school if he's texted yet. She was so excited tonight when he texted her. And she gave the old Army the standard "Well that sucks" about not being able to talk to him. She said "Well, what if I HAVE to".......I just said, "Not today, those are the rules" and again I got the famous "That sucks" and then she added "that's stupid". She has so much to learn and I have to teach it to her because I've been through this rodeo before she hasn't.

I will post as I get new information regarding Mike or our life as a military family. Thank you all for being there for us on our new adventure.